Saturday, December 31, 2005 | 11:24 PM
she wasnt the old her animore.
she changed.
here she is,
the girl who's always crying in the late night;
the girl who's always crying whenever she hears love songs;
the girl who turned into a weakling.
now that it's turning o1 january 2006,
she guess that their story's over.
completely over.
she have to give it up.
ther's no doubt.
she's scared.
she's scared of her sec 3 lyfe.
she's lost him now.
but wad can she do?
she's helpless.
*i dunno wad to do now.
im reli letting go.
once it reaches 12am,
its all gone.
GONE.
no more love.
only hatred.
aniway, thanks gayatri.
Friday, December 30, 2005 | 12:12 AM
how much did i spent today?
01. mineral water again ($ 1.20 i think)
o2. fish and chips ($4.50)
o3. ribenia ($1.50)
geex. spent so little?!
*surprised*
1 more day to new year~
yippes~
Thursday, December 29, 2005 | 11:57 PM
hais.
woke up at 7+. i struggled wid myself to get out of bed.
my eyes just dunwanna open. i dunno why. >.<
so, i went to sch for the cca carnival meeting. -.-
reached ther dam early. only dear xianli reach nia.
LOLs. i tot the committee were supposed to be there before us.
but guess wad? idiotic gayatri was late. wad kinda secretary plus treasurer!?
heyys. i was just kidding. no offence. ahas~
wahhs.
actually me and dear xianli's job is to do the flyer's 1st page budden
we found out we are kinda computer idiot.
always nid zhiqi's help. so we decided to help out at the hearts corner.
i was incharge of cutting those extras of the straws.
xianli was doing the straightening of those straws.
then gayatri was colouring and drawing the red cross logo on the hearts.
and derek, dana and doreen were doing the folding of the hearts wid straws.
ahas. seems like im doing the easiest job.
then jiahui came to help out at our corner too. XD
wahhs. the library was sooo dam cold. intended to ask the librarian to turn up the temp. budden, we still dint asked. lols.
and after that,
zhiqi, adrian and calvin was almost done wid the flyers,
jiahui went to add some stupid craps into the photos.
eg .
" look at my ass, it's hot"
and!
" smell my armpits...."
i was like " wdh?!"
wad for!?
lols.
doreen went off for work.
and dana went home.
so that leaves 5 of us (i mean sec 2s lo)
and then, we went for lunch. wow. i had many calls today. wasted so much muny. heart pain. -.-
okays, i ate fish and chips, as usual. my fav.!
jia hui ate fried rice. wahhs. i realised that she';s dam lame!
wrote "sum1's name" using chili sauce on the plate~
trust her to come up wid this stupid idea, uh?
and then took photo using her phone.
ooh, pple thinks that she's a nutcase!
mummy and sis coming to sch and buy those exercise books and blahs.
-.-
it was kinda useless, i can say
cause all the files are out of stock. too bad X)
so, they went to the coffee shop and eat while waiting for me.
ahas.
so, me and dear xianli went to canteen and join derek and blahs.
chit-chatted ther until xianli's drink was drank up. and we went up to library again.
it was raining -.-
listened to jia hui's mp3. diaoz. and looked at all her act cute picts. lols.
so many!!! 1300++ lor! i was like *fainting*. wdh. 1st time see pple have 1300++ photos inside!
after that, commitee have to do wadeva proposal. gave them idea lor. luckily i wasnt in the committe~ thank god!
but after abt 20min, my mum called again and ask me to leave sch as the rain is stopping. okays lor. heed her advice larhs. so, i yi yi bu she de. and left sch T.T
wdf! i was on bus sleeping. as u know, everytime i sat on the bus, i will sure fall asleep de. like a pig mans me! so i slept larhs. then the boy boy behind me keep knocking against my seat. wad the hell. i stared at him for a while and go back to slp. budden, i just cant! so i stay awake larhs. then he started knocking again. wdf. i told myself to calm down. and when he does that again, i will turn behind and sco him. he woke me up from my nap and now, knocking on my seat. bloody pissed off. so he still does, so i turned behind, i stared at him, i said " wdf!" and i think he stopped. then when i get down the bus, my whole face was like charcoal. dam black. he larhs! spoil my bloody good mood. fuck. my mum told me that she helped me knock back his seat. wahahas. that time,my heart was like "yippe~" lols. ahs~ i tell u, whenever sum1 offend me, i wan double revenge back. so u better dun offend me. or else u have hell out of ur lyfe.
so when i reached home, started mapling again, and asking my mum for new specs. finally, she agreed! yeahs~
wah lao. until abt 6plus, we two had a fight abt something.
wdf. slap me summore. fine la. i hit her hand, scolded fuck.
opps. i became more rebellious.
but it's her fault at 1st wad.
our conv :
her :" reply me when i am talking to u"
me :" wdf? i mapling la.stupid. "
her : " can u believe i pull the wire out?"
me :" pull la. u dare, u pull. spoil not my prob. u nid spend extra muny repair wad. my prob arh?"
wdf. another 1 pissing me off. bloody day i had today.
fine. let bygones be bygones.
then my mum said (after the quarrel)
" u think i very happy when i sco u arh?"
i said
"ya!"
and she;s speechless.
-.-
o0kays. tmr got full u training. oh ya! i lost my bottle of kiwi. wadeva la. i heck care. called gayatri and hers used up le. -.-
so i used water and wiped it.
okays. waterdoes the trick. ahas. brainy~
byes, wid loves,
t i n a
fcuking day of mine.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005 | 11:52 PM
how much did i spent today?
o1. mentos ($0.80)
o2. mineral water ($1.20)
o3. bike ($4 for 1 hr)
o4. mineral water ($1.20)
o5. juicy burger ($2.80)
wow. i spent too much today >.<
pls give up on me.
im not worth waiting for.
OOH MANS~
today's RC gathering so dam FUN FUN AND FUN!
i loved it.
1st time felt that we are so close to each other.
normally, all of us so quiet,
and finally today,
we are so crazy~
yipees~
so in the the early morning, i woke up at ard 10am.
get ready and blahs untill 11am.
then i leave house and meet them at rivervale plaza at 12noon.
phew. luckily, i did found my way ther.
i dint noe how to go rp from tamp.
normally is go rp from sch.
so i called pam up and asked her.
she said she will be taking 88.
and i made up my mind,
i will take bus 27 and
alight at the 1st stop of seng kang
and take bus 88. geex.
okays. i reached rp mac abit early. but guess wad?!
those sec 1s were so dam early. -.-
ahas. so much earlier than the others.
and soon, the ncos and sec 2s came.
and next thing i knew,
i was standing for abt 30min waiting for the other 'i-dunno-who'
so then, we took bus 88 to pasir ris interchange and took bus 403 to pasir ris park.
wahhs.
once we reached ther, we started the fire for bbq. -.-
as if we are sooo hungry like that.
while we bbq-ing. some other were playing kites and bikes.
and that leaves some of us.
too bad. that time i was having cramps.
so dint help out.
sry guys.
i dint expected it too. ><
and then sat on the beach wid kavitha.
wahhs. senior telling juniors abt their experiences. so nice~
and oh ya~ all the food turned out to be chao ta de.
but im not helping out ma.
so im have no rights to comment on it.
lalalas~
then after that,
me and jiahui went to rent bike and cycle.
ahas.
i chose a small 1.
i dundare to take big bikes. dam scary.
as if i will topple off the bike like though.
then saw song wen and yong xuan at the shop. -.-
hais.
keep chasing us like hell. lols.
and then abt 3.45, we are tired and hungry.
so we rode back to the bbq pit and grab some food and eat. geex~
we flew a kite~
every since young, i have been flying kites,
but this time, it's diff.
im flying those kites wid my friends, without cousins and parents~
weets.
we went back to ride again since we have only abt 15min left.
so, me, jiahui and melvin went ard cycling. ehmms. melvin was rollar-blading.
lalalas~ went to return bike and walked back to bbq-pit.
we went to the beach and played frisbee while the others were playing sand?
ahas.
1st, we had a frisbee match (dunno the name).
2nd, we played monkey. hais. im always the monkey. kavithat ALWAYS sabo me~ grrs!
so we played and played until i decided not to go tution. ahas.
suddenly, i've got the playing mood and not studying mood.
so, even if i go, i will be thinking of the others enjoying themselves while i will stucked here, studying my stupid e maths.
i rathar be enjoying myself then regretting not joining in the fun and study. hais.
hope i can catch up the next lesson. bless me god~
we decided to go for bowling after playing on the beach.
i dint play. dunwan to waste my hard earned muny. i wan to save it up.
lalalas~
so we watched the sec 1s, ncos and melvin play. ahas.
so funny. all the weird ways of bowling all come out le. gagas. too bad gayatri, kavitha and jia hui wasnt ther. or else i bet, they will be like luffing their ass off.
then at abt 7.30, we went home. not all la. cause some of them haven finish their game. so i take bus 17 home. on my way home, an old uncle boarded the bus and i think he talk to himself.
and then suddenly, he ask me "wher this bus go to?"
so i replied "to bedok."
he said "wad? bedok?"
and then next, i dun understand wad the heck he talking abt.
so i keep saying "huh?"
lols.
so i think he cant stand it animore, he went to ask the bus driver the same question. and the driver oso ans the same ans as me. then my mind suddenly had an ans ! "that uncle must been lose his way." hais. but wad can i do? it's so late in the night.
and so i reached home. dunno why my sis suddenly became so good towards me. willing to share her sweets wid me -.-
summore, she offered me. so automatic.
then, when i was bathing, sum1 called. my sis said was calvin.
i think he was supposed to remind me abt tmr's meeting.
sry calvin, dint call u back cause i DUNHAVE ur no. !
-.-ll
and now, im blogging here. trying to lvl up my noobie~
she's lvl 8 now in cass.
add me in maple then.
CetusXtina - lvl 33 bandit (cassiopeia)
CetusYtina - lvl 8 future crossbowman (cassiopeia)
vonnei 2 - lvl 68 cleric (aquila)
hais. gotta slp early tonight. i wonder if i could get up tmr on time. sry guys if i cant. and i reli hope i can. "wad the heck m i talking!?" diao.
all i wan say is those three words, i love you.
i wrote ure name on the sand today.
and i realised how much i missed u.
i wan see u again.
byes, nites and wid loves,
t i n a
i love skrcy.
weets.ther's one and only red cross gathering at pasir ris park later~
wahahas. im looking foward to it!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005 | 12:25 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRIS~
wahhs. 14 years old le hor?
grow up lar. ahas.~
aniway, may all ur dreams come true. i love u <3~
im sry.
im sry to make u wait for me.
i felt guilty.
i know ure suffering.
but im too.
im trying darn hard to forget him.
and pls dun swear.
cause ther;s nth like everlasting.
the feelings gonna fade.
Monday, December 26, 2005 | 11:46 PM
wad i spent on for today (food);
o1. macdonals' fries ($2.20?)
o2. minimints icecream ($2)
o3. macdonals' chicken nugget meal ($5.60)
o4. fish and chips ($4.80)
o5. chrysanthum tea ($1.20)
and i think thats all.
weets.
intend to go ice-skating today de.
den i woke up at 9.15am, went down to rc and waited for the others.
and then jonathan was late for like 1 hr! he overslept -.-
waste time nia.
so we took 2 taxi to the destination.
1st taxi was me, sis and jon.
then 2nd taxi were the 2 sec 1 boys.
and it's already 11+am.
sumthing unlucky happened to us.
the taxi driver send us to the wrong place.
was supposed to go jurong west, the ice-palace.
and he drove us to taman jurong, the place which can skate 20yrs ago.
he's still living in the world which is 20yrs ago. -.-
hais. wasted so much time, finding our way ther.
and finally we reached the ice-palace at abt 1.20pm.
but it was so CROWDED wid pple!
and we are oni beginners, which were expected to fall down many times.
and it was freezing cold ther~
so jon suggested that we shud skate next monday.
and will have to meet at 8++am.
so that we can be the 1st customers. hahas~
and i realised that ther's so many pro skaters.
i go ther make myself pai seh only. hais.
and after that,
we went to see which movie we can catch.
so we decided on a chinese movie!
btw, it's a sneak preview~
THE CHINESE TALL STORY!
the 1 wid sun wukong and his master~
budden the movie only starts at abt 2.15pm.
so we went to the aracde (sry if i spell wrong) and spent time ther.
i played time-crisis wid my sis.
and challenged jon to a stupid and lame game. lols.
after that lame game, my whole arm is like aching. arghhs.
and WE WERE LATE FOR THE MOVIE!
so we went in,
missed the front part of the movie, but managed to understand the whole storyline.
it was so romantic and funny~
sun wu kong's master fell in love wid a "so-called demon" who is ugly.
they fell deeply in love wid each other.
the last part was the master trying to save the "so-called demon" who have turned pretty cause of something larhs.
so nice.
the master have broken his limbs but still insisted on saving the gal.
hais.
how i wish im that gal,
and my prince charming could just appear infront of me and save me.
then after the movie,
it was only 4++pm.
we decided on another movie!
KING KONG~
weets. im desperately wanting to watch this movie.
wahhs~ 3hrs plus sia and we sitting the 2nd row. -.-
but nvm. as long as it's nice, i dunmind.
oni 1 part i dun understand abt the movie.
why did the king kong went up the tower at the last part of the story wid the gal when he knows that he will die if he goes up? issit telling us something? hais. jon noes the ans but dunwan tell. -.-
so when we finished the movie,
it was already 8.20pm.
so we took mrt and bus home (woodlands-tampines, far uh?)
we fell asleep on the bus and arrived in tampines at ard 9.40pm.
then jon says we go eat supper then go home.
fine~ i shared a plate of fish and chips wid my sis.
ahas. jon's mouth was hot. the chilli was too spicy. geex~
then went home using cab again. gagas~
reached home at abt 11pm.
and so im here now, blogging.
Sunday, December 25, 2005 | 1:00 AM
MERRY XMAS peeks~may ur dreams come true!~santa, i've been a reli gd gurl this year. all i wish for is world peace, to be wid him, good grades,good health and MONEY. rofl.BYES, WID LOVES, T I N Amerry merry christmas~
Saturday, December 24, 2005 | 12:25 AM
I SAW HIM TODAY~got tution later. T_T
ahas.
TODAY'S THE BIG DAY.
sec 1 orientation~
found my sistah's name under 1N6. hais.
wahhs. today's tough. so many calculations for the cost of those books. parents are always so kia su. lols. just like my parents too. they're always the same. -.-
i hope i dint count the amt wrongly. or else i have to pay. im scared. hais.
and then worked till 3 plus in the evening. gotten my 1st pay in my life. 60 bucks. cool uhh? 3 days, 6hrs ea. ahas. im proud of myself. the feeling of getting ur 1st pay is so undescrible. =D my heart's like jumping up and down when i gotten it. heex. and i could get my own thingys wid my own muny. my sis was jealous. wagagas. =X
when i reach home, my sistah's telling all the things which happened to her in sch. she just went "blah blah blah". i was dead tired and was lying on the sofa and then she keep buzzing ard my ear. arghhs. then i said "stfu". but she dint. lols. then i went to bath, she shouted into the batheroom. she said " jie, i show u my uniform ok?". piangs. i guess she's soooo dammm excited abt the new year. -.- then she wore her pe t-shirt and uniform, show me. say "the size so big. mummy still buy for me...." -.- of cuz marhs. 1st year, uniform sure big. she's crapping~ then after i've seen her "so-called fashion show" (lols!). i fall asleep. was watching tv until the remote control drop on the floor. -.- slp from 6.30-8.30pm. diaos. my sis say "wher got pple take nap so late de?" hais. cant help it. too tired ler! then ate dinner wid mummy. she just came back from work. my dad was home long ago when i was "napping?".
then searched high and low for my sec 1 books. my sis says she wan to use my sec 1 books instead of new books. she say want to save muny and buy other thingys. -.-ll then i helped her cancel out those books that we had. and guess wad?! oni ard 5bks we can use. the other subjs tb, all change le.. thats why. then search and packed until 10.30. my parents and sis went to slp and that leaves me. and here i m, blogging. ~ =D
byes, wid loves,
t i n a
"uhh?"
Thursday, December 22, 2005 | 12:16 AM
hais.
today tried waking up but i just couldnt. i cant even open my eyes fully. guess i was dam dam dam tired. then after that, woke up at 10am, i had diarhoea.arghhhs. wdf. so unlucky. >.<
then played maple. keep going to toliet. hais. and then i chiong chinese hmwk. finished comprehension and close passage lerhs. left newspaper reviews and journal writing. sians.
decided to quit maple on 25th dec 2005. cause it's xmas. and i hope Cetusians could remember me, CetusXtina as they play maple. hais. i will miss my Cetus babies. hais. they're so cute.
for example,
DUINN KOR, he rocks.
CIERRA DA-SAO, kor's dear.
KIERAN and SNOW MONKEY who always call me banana.
BOLTZ, "lalalas~"
and the OTHER BABIES too.
i love u guys. sry if i am too selfish, cause i wan concentrate on studies. hais. but i will go back maple and chatt wid u guys. hahas~
to him*
bon voyage. take good care of urself. T_T
byes, wid loves,
T I N A
forever a Cetusian.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005 | 7:25 PM
oh yea~ =)
today 1st day of work. in the morning, was kinda excited abt it. but as time goes, i getting tired. the books so heavy. nid run around. hais. finally, i get to experience how working feels like. now, my whole body aching. i dunno how da hell i survive tmr during training tmr. hais.
reached home abt 4pm. hais. maple so "..."
stupid gm event. wad surprise event. i wan event oso cant get in. wdf.
make me so bloody pissed off.
so now, listening to songs again, trying to regain my energy. hais.
BYES, WID LOVES,
X T I N A`Z
da spolit little brat.
Monday, December 19, 2005 | 11:25 PM
im feeling dam sleepy now. but i nv stop missing him. whaahhas.
today had FDC training. i almost overslept. i slpt at 2am and woke up at 7.30am. so it's only abt 5hrs sleep? hais. and took a short short nap during the bus journey to sch. 1 more thing, that gayatri keep luffing and jiahui came and see us train. every1;s like gone crazy today, keep luffing. hahs~ xD
GAYATRI'S A JOKE. HAHS~
aniway, it's FUN. enjoying every minute (suppose so)
then after training, went to great grandma's (my dad;s grandma) hse. cause cousins went overseas, leaving her alone. she doesnt want go, cause over ther;s winter. and her "rh...blahs" will act up. hahas. forget the term for it. LOLs. so my mum asked me and my sis to go ther and accompany her. and im always a fillial child. ahahas. I MISS HER COOKING. i gobbled up 2 bowl of rice, 2 half-boiled eggs, 2 bowls of soup and whole plate of chicken, leaving my sis and my mum nth to eat. ahahs~ im so greedy. heehx. blame me for being so hungry uhhs? then after that, nth to do, was staring at the ceiling until i slowly went into dreamland. LOLs. trust me that i could actually go to slp when the sofa's so hard! it's unbelievable but at that time, i was simply too tired. then my mum was chatting wid my great grandma. i have no idea wad my sis was doing. i only heard the two adult's voices. then woke up after abt 1hr. it was a short nap. and then my great grandma told me abt those stories when i was young. she told me that i spent TOO MUCH of her muny when i was a toddler.
opps. hahas. then after that, my mum says that when i was abt 1 year old, she hired a baby-sitter and baby-sit me. and then not long, i've got rashes. not only rashes, also vomitting. (i dunno true anot) and then my mum just take care of me larhs. and then one day, my great grandma came over to my place and asked how m i doing. and my mum said " she's still vomitting. but not so serious le. " then my great grandma insisted that i shud go and have a check-up wid my "gny...blahs". so my mum brought me. and the doctor says, inside her "blahs" is empty, she nid to be hospitalised immediately. so i went to the hospital and stayed ther for abt 3days. ahahs. i cant believe that i actually had been hospitalised when i was that young! my mum says i was a cry-baby so i went crying and crying. and my DAD then bought me TOYS. hahas. i've still got the toys wid me. I LOVE THEM.
ps* sry if i used too much "blahs", ahahs.
i love that moment when my great grandma told me things when i was young. and i bet my sis is jealous cause she never spend so much time wid her when she's young. i was the oldest "great grandchild" and thats why. hahs~ that makes me a spolit little brat now.
then after that, rushed home cause of maple GM event starting at 5pm. wahhs. it was SOOOOOOO LAGGY. i kena dc so many times. hais -.-
but it was my 1st time doing this, so i duncare. kinda excited plus nervous.
woww. i was late for tution again T_T
it was supposed to start at 6.15pm yet i went ther at 6.30pm.
then all my mates have reached. hais. i bet i;m being named the LATE QUEEN. hahs~
so now, im here updating, listening to songs, and MAPLING.
i have decided.!
IM QUITTING MAPLE. heehx.
okays. gotta go to bed early. tmr nidd to go back to sch and help along wid the packing.
byes, widd loves,
x t i n a`z
Sunday, December 18, 2005 | 10:48 PM
WAHAHAHAS. I'VE GOTTEN MY NEW SEC 3'S BOOKS AND MY NEW SCH SHOES. I DAM HAPPY. IM ALL SET FOR THE NEW SCH YEAR. (ermms. i've not done my holidays assignments. kill me!)im watching chnl u' show now. wishing tree. dam nice. wid edison. wagagags. he so shuai~ =)
and i believe true lovers will be together one day.
okays. went out for the whole day. dead tired now. and ther's FDC training tmr. and after that, maybe have CCA carnival meeting. -.-then after the CCA carnival meeting, i nid rush for tution. wahhs. im darn busy this week. i have no idea how to do my homework when it's so dam packed wid programmes. hais. bless me that i finish my homework in time.gayatri! y are u so surprised after knowing i working? -.-
i know u see me as a spolit little brat. whahahas. but i can work! i`m willing to take up jobs for MONEY! hahas.
trying to numb myself.
byes, with love, x t i n a`z
okays. missing him again. i really dunwan to go on like this. it's tiring. it's dam tiring.darn it. woke up at 1pm today. i JUMPED UP from my bed! suddenly realised that i;ve got a maths tution today. i've COMPLETELY forget abt it. taught indices today. shucks. i dunno how i'm gonna manage it the next lesson. i like be like "omg. wad the hell is this?" forget it, study extra more for this chapter then.it;s getting weird. my "maple addiction" is beginning to fade off. no longer want to play maple. felt like quitting maple. if i quit maple, it'll be good news for every1 (i bet so).hais. my dad again. scolded me again. once he came home from work, he gives a loud sigh. signalling to me abt maple again. then after that, he screams at me. this conv starts like this:
dad * wad time did u slp yesterday night?*me *ermms. 4am*dad *sighs. U BETTER STOP PLAYING MAPLE TILL SO LATE. OR ELSE, I FORBID U TO USE THE COMP UNTIL UR O'LEVELS OVER!*^thinking to myself *hah~ 4am isnt late. it;s early to me.*hais. I HATE MY DAD. he's always doting on my sistah. and always sco and sigh at me. wdf. how i wish he's at work every minute. then come back got money give me. AND I SPENT ALL HIS MONEY AWAY. hahs. stfu. im bloody pissed off now. heck care him. im still staying up late cause i cant get to slp. he thinks i enjoy every minute of staying up late. always assuming. I LOVE MY MUM. if they divorce ( i bet this day will come. my mum cant stand him too. ), i will 100% SUPER DUPER following my mum. if i follow my dad, i dunno wad the heck i will become. i will go to sch everyday wid brusies. fcukk. and after he knows im going to work to have extra allowance, he didnt say a SINGLE WORD. my mum told me how to be a good worker. how to control my temper. all i have today is thanks to my mum. he doesnt owe the credit. okays. my msg again.my blood's full of anger now. to those going overseas*i envy u guys. i dun1 to stay at home staring at my dad. aniway, bon voyage. geex. and take care. dun fall sick. to gayatri*im working. (i guess thats call working too)to him*i'll be here waiting no matter wad. to sum1*im really really sorry to make u so depressed. i dun1 it to happen to.but i nid time. time to forget him and only love you.
Saturday, December 17, 2005 | 1:09 AM
hais. im getting bored. so, here i m to crap.
omg. im missing him every minute. gosh. wad;s coming over me?
i dun even noe the ans myself. wadeva i do, i think of him. wherever i am, i think of him. i m trying darn hard to forget him. actually, deep down, i dunwish to forget him but do i have a chance? i'm left wid no choice so all i have to do is let time heals my wounds and forget him gradually. thats the reality. i've to stop myself from dreaming in my own dreamland. this have to stop no matter wad.im starting to hate myself widout realising it till today. i really do. i've got no idea.je t'aime.
j'espère cette extrémité de nanovolt de volonté d'amour.
Friday, December 16, 2005 | 2:24 PM
so,indeed i went for training. fun and tiring. was fun cause we all joke together and go thru those times together. tiring cause it was 3 whole hours. xD hais. every week two to three trainings. oh mans. how m i suppose to go thru these?! hais. i dun1 to go into fd comp sia. and i know that im lousy to get in too. so, no worrieS~
hahas` gayatri~ure the secretary cum treasurer.u have soemthing to keep u busy. whahahas. im so free. to sum1`really sorry. T_Tdidnt mean to make you live in a werld of tears. hais. i look into the mirror, found myself asking " was this a illusion or was it reality".all this while, i have been dreaming; building castles in the sky. but now, i've waken up and decided to move on my life; even though it's hard.
OKAES. PPLE KEEP ASKING ME TO GO. SO, I DECIDED TO GO. I DUNCARE LE. THROW FACE THEN THROW FACE. TAKE SHIET AND PUT IT AT MY FACE, I HECK CARE.my wounds are being ripped apart again. it's not healed yet and yet now, it's avagerated. hais. . it's been entirely one whole year. i tot by the end of this holidays, i can give up just like that. but till now, i reliased i cant do it. no matter wad happens, i cant. i tried numbing myself and it failed. i just cant bring myself to walk out of this shadow. the shadow that makes me love you. my leg refused to take a step ahead. i just dunhave the courage. all i can do now is to wait. and i'm afraid that i`m losing these patience. help me pls.my life's in a big mess. reli bigg mess. it's without you. i've not done ani revision or rathar homework.my parents doesnt want to grant me those things i wan.i cant go to slp everynight. i m getting skinner everyday.gosh. i`m turning into a living corpse.oh god, help me
Thursday, December 15, 2005 | 11:41 PM
HELP ME. I DUNNO WHETHER I SHUD GO ANOT. 1ST TIME IN MY 14 YRS OF LIFE, IM THIS CONFUSED. just like "..." says, i go ther oso throw face, wad for i go? waste my time nia. my fd sucks so terribly. then gayatri says dun look down on myself. but it';s the fact ma! I DUNNO. I DUNNO. I RELI DUNNO. I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT MAKING THE DECISION.
MY CHRISTMAS WISHES.1st. i wan NEW SPECTS.2nd. i wan the myuk pencil case 3rd. i wan a new wallet4th. i wan billabong bag5th. i wan to be lvl 40 by xmas (maple-cass)6th. i wan NEW CLOTHES.MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.1st. no SLACKING. study hard2nd. treat my sister and parents better3rd. NO MORE HIM IN MY LIFE. GONNA KICK HIM OUT. SHOO~4th. stop being so stubborn, reckless and tomboy-ish.5th. LET ME WEAR SKIRTS.
okays. left house at 1.30 and went for de dental appointment. cool~ i've changed the color! from blue to pink. i love it. wahahas. received a bad news. my dentist is going to another hospital or wadeva. hais. gonna have a change of dentist.
after the check-up, when shopping wid mummy and sister at TM. geez. my dad wasnt wid us. he was working. cool~
and now, im in a dilema. i dunno whether i wan to go for tmr's FD training anot. my FD sucks terribly. i really dunno.
1st consideration.
if i go, wad if i gotten choosen (i noe it'll nv happen in reality), the 1st few months of my sec 3 life will be dam busy. and i scared it will affect my studies. hais.
2nd consideration.
if i go, wad if i nv get choosen (it'll happen in reality), it'll be like so embarrased. 3rd consideration.
if i nv go, it means nv get choosen (cool huh?), i suppose ther'll be punishment. and i DUN1 PUNISHMENTS~
finally, i made up my choice. i will make my choice when it's 12am. if i can wake up tmr monring at 7am, i will go. if i cant, too bad. so christina, stop fretting. leave it to fate. god will make the choice for me. wahhahas.
i am home alone now. my dad is working OT. my sister's at tution. my mum's down at the NTUC. im enjoying every minute or even every second. LOLs.
i'll update later.
my phone's in the middle. cool huh?
depression. save me.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005 | 1:32 PM
oh mans. it's been ages i had last blogged. 2 days? 3 days? ohh gayatri. i know u miss my posts. whahahas. omg. i've just reliased that holidays are ending. i've not even finished my holiday assignments. spent the whole holidays on maple. i got to quit this habit of playing maple all day long. if it continues, my studies will go "kaboomz". DOOMED. i still want to continue in my triple science, a maths and hmt. i dunwish to get drop out and go to another class. god, bless me. okays. 2 days ago, had a great big fight wid my dad. but the coast's clear now. it's alright between us again. the ice have been smashed. lols. we talked once again. hmms. it;s weird to be updating at such a late time. but too bad. been chiong-ing in the day. and that leaves the night or rathar early morning.
hais. found myself wid more pimples day after day. hate myself for having such idiotic pimples. have to use pimple cream summore. arghhs.
ooh cool. in another few days, my dental appointment's here. i wonder wad's the "so-called improvement". gagags. i wan change the color to pink. pink rocks.
hmms. santa, i've been a good girl all this while (except for falling in love wid him*). please grant me those wishes.
* reli hope to have him back-
* pressies
* let me finish my assignments on time.
* help me in making decisions ( i dunno whether i shud go to the FD training on 16th dec )
okays. nidda get back to maple. whahas.
- guys.
dun fall sick okays? take care of urself. love you all.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005 | 8:31 PM
arghs. FELL SICK;! down wid sore throat, running nose and fever.
i felt as if i was dying.
today tution started.
taught E MATHS.
DARN IT.
IT WAS HARD;HARD;HARD;AND HARD!
*formulas.
*process
OKAES. I DUN1 TO TALK ANIMORE.
damn fed up.
maple EXTENDED THEN TIME TO 2030!
ARGHS.
Monday, December 05, 2005 | 2:12 AM
i relieased that i've been lying to myself ever since u've left.i;ve been lying that i dunch love ue animore.i;ve been lying that i dunch nid ue in my life.i can do widdout ue.but till now, i found out that it was useless. i found myself loving ue more and more each and every day.i found myself releying on ue.i found myself dreaming of ue.i really hope that all this pain could justsimply disappear. i gonna breakdown. i've got tears everyday.
woots. dam happy.
TMR NO CIP!!! the whole CIP thingy canceled.i can stay at home and play comp. can chiong cass's chara le. aniway, those playing cass, add me at
CetusXtina. geex.
arghs. my gum dam pain. stupid larhs. today, when i was eating fish-and-chips, the metal "so-called-wire" in the braces thingy went down. wdf. i dunno wad gonna happen. hope the dentist dun scold me. and hope it wont hurts.
LOLs. i love my korS.* norman kor* shijie kor* marc korthey rocks my life. whaahahs.
and im currently in love wid these four songs. #o1 Hey Juliet by LMNT#o2 Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx#o3 My Humps by BEP#o4 Belly Dancer by Akonhim*-i`m still loving ue.
KAVITHA AND JIAHUI-*hais.
dunno why u two going crazy over adrian
and zhiqi.
weird.
Friday, December 02, 2005 | 11:01 PM
him-*i love ue.
always ue.
gayatri-i was thinking to skip the cip
on 15th dec. cause i have something
on on that day.
vonn-lalalas. wad will i get when i help u widd the blog?
i want to hold ure hands again.cause holding on to ure hands means i love you.and i dunchwann to let go of ure handscauseit means that i dunch love ue.
HA! IM BACK FROM CAMP!GOT MISS ME ANOTS?!hahas. me overeacting ler lar. hais.
camp was "ehmms". fun? tough?
yeas. it was fun cause of those games and the campfire.
it was tough too cause of those footdrill training, hike and blahs.
hais. okaes. some "
deep impression" on the camp.
in my whole 14years, i finally knew that i was afraid of the dark and was scared of those "good brothers". hais. sad. the nite trail for me was scary. LOLs. dam funny lor. i went on the trail widd gayatri and adrian. LOLs. scared marhs. so go widd those brave pple. hahas. and then gayatri walk beside me on the right while adrian's on the left. then wahahaas. i cried. wdf. waste my tears again. geex. and then after the trail, gayatri showed me the wound that i make on her when i was walking widd her during the trail. LOLs. it's all red. cool! hahas. i was scared by JIAHUI and the stupid maze !! arghs. i tot jiahui was just down ther crying and fathiah making the knocking sound. budden all of a sudden,
JIAHUI SCREAMED!!! then me and gayatri screamed too. lols! then following up next is the maze. wdf. have to crawl under the table.so tiring. then dunno why i cried again. hais. why m i so ".."?!? i think i cried cause the uneasy feeling, crawling under so small spaces. and summore ,the sound effects dam loud. thats why. HAIS.
IT'S THE 1ST TIME IN MY LIFE TO GO ON A HIKE!
woots. COOL!the starting point was the rc campsite and ended at the east coast park.
hais. disappointing. we walked the wrong way. but at least we've got integrity and we didnt jay-walk! YEAS!
then the management crisis. LOLs. dam funny.! our grp mostly did the chicken dance and singing nursey rhymes to get those items. hais. we tot we could put the flag into the "so-called bank" budden it turned out that it was being confiscated. hais. and i;ve learnt something in this game. that is nv ever to trust ani1 in my lyfe again.
PT!!lols. circuit training. yea. it feel so shiok cause we haven done it long time lerhs. but oso felt tired lar. u think we all robots arhs. lols.
hais. the most disappointing thing. it makes me feel so embarrased.!
footdrill sliver accredt. hais. im all ready to flunk my pratical and my theory. we didnt even learn how to say those commands and the english translation! how do u expect us to go for the pratical and theory. nvm. next year can still take sliver again.
woots.
the promotion ceremony!yays!
double promotion! from lcp to sergent! geex. actually, alot pple oso like that larhs. lols. but i dunch mind. congrats sakinah. triple promotion. hahas. =)
