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Thursday, March 29, 2007 | 11:15 PM
I hate seeing my friends cutting themselves & drowning themselves in sorrows.
& I'am just one of them. I don't know what's happening to them. I wanted so badly to help them, but I felt so helpless. Classmate A cuts his wrist for some reasons & he refused to respond to us. Classmate B are always thinking negatively. Lots & lots.





Today was girls' out, girlfriends day. Haha, after school (Remember, there isn't English SSP today due to the Taboo game), we headed off to Compass Point. A group of four girls (Pris, LPJ, Fangs & me) can be heard talking loudly like nobody's bussiness, laughing crazily & talking about censored stuffs in Macs. I think I said something like, "Stop vibrating." (Because, Pris was laughing with the normal laugh sound.) & the North Vista couple beside us was like, laughing & looking at us. LOL. Omgosh, that's the most embarrasing moment of my whole entire life. Look, I don't mean to put it in that manner, okay? The word just spluttered out. It's only when I see the couple laughing at us, I remembered what Mr Selva had said during Physics lesson. The vibrator. What the hell. I suppose I blushed instaneously when I realise my mistake. Oh gawd. Hopefully, the two of them don't remember my face. ;X

& then, looked at the Poh Kim VCDs sale. Pris found the animae that she wanted so long ago. Initially, she asked the guy how much was it. He said, $14.90. After like say, 15 minutes, she decided to buy. This time, a sign saying, "First set original price -- $29.90. Second set half-price" plopped down. Lol. She was scared stiff & put the vcd back. I was like, huh? Why she did that for? (I'am always out of situation since I receive information/waves slower. Don't understand, forget it.) She analysed it to me that, now the vcd costs $29.90 not $15. So I suggested asking the guy again how much it cost to double-check. LPJ & I approached the guy & the lady boss (I think so. Something like that la.) & they said, "We just had that sign there.& I told u that u will get 1/2 price... So it's only 15 bucks instead of 30bucks." Pris went, phew & heaved a relief. (Sounds drama eh?) See, thanks to me & LPJ that she purchased that vcd. She & her innocent thinking that it costs $29.90. Lol.

& saw sister there. She was doing her project. Okay, so whatever.

Upon waiting for my bus home, I realise that a guy was like looking at me all the time. -.- What's the matter with him?! I'am neither good-looking nor hideous! Plus, I was reading my storybook. I could actually sense him staring at me. Weirdos. Dittos.


Let me be his strength when he has none left, let me be his strength even when he doesn't want my help.



Wednesday, March 28, 2007 | 10:01 PM
OUHHHH NOOOO GAWDDD.
I screwed up my Emaths Transformation test. My mind went blank when I flipped the page & discovered the Stretch question. I was like, what the fuck. So, in total, I missed out 3 sub-questions. Screams.


School was hilarious & amusing. We (Combined Eng lesson with 4E4) had this singing session for for our English period. Lol. "Summmmmmerrrr Plaaacceeee". Oh man, it sounds so 'sweet' in that so-eighties melody. Haha. & Yay! There isn't any English SSP tomorrow due to the Taboo Prelimary round. Rejoice!
Bloody hell. Miss Ong moved Asyraf & Saddam's seats infront of me & Haslinda. Gawd, I will never have a peaceful lesson with them right before me. We were like crapping thru'out the whole lesson with all the 'Sick eh you's.
& It's that Selva's lesson after that. I wasn't paying attention to his so-gay lesson. Instead, I was crapping (Again!) with Saddam & Angren. One asshole, took the 'i-dunno-what-thing' & threw it at me. Another asshole, kept calling me all kinds of nicknames with his so-fast accent (So, you should had guess who's who).
Ended school, but the afternoon continued with SSPs. So, during Physics SSP, we continued crapping. After all that, my upper & lower jaw hurts so much from all those laughings.
Went home after a long day with those lessons & SSPs. Upon reaching home, I got to know from mum that Great Grandma got into hospital for some checkups since she's not feeling so good. I guess, her condition's worsening. I'am gonna pray sincerly for her health. I don't want something bad happening to her. She's the next closest relative other than my Mum & Sister. ;(

Physics test tomorrow. On D.C circuits & Practical Electricity. I don't want to flunk it. For the sake of my home tutor.


Screaming for attention from you.



Tuesday, March 27, 2007 | 11:05 PM
Let this entry be a short & quick one then.




Someone threw a chair down from the 3rd level yesterday. Mr Leong annouced it during Assembly. & 2 'so-called-big-guys' hit a 'so-called-small-guy' today. & he landed up in the hospital. It's gonna be a court case.

Anyway, Mr Teoh had the SKY chat with us today. Because of the comments we wrote on the piece of paper under the school column & he somehow 'chatted' with us. Yes, I agree that Mr Leong tried his best to improve the school's quality & whatever, but the thing is, the students aren't co-operating with the school management. During lesson breaks, you sniff & could actually smell the smoke from those cigarettes. Especially, from the guys toliet. During recess, people are using handphones in the canteen. As though they were in the limelight. Like hello? Handphones are prohibited in schools. Wait till your handphone get stolen like Angren's, Suling's & Januver's. By then, it's already no use crying over spilt milk. & Looking at the violent cases going on in our school, it's no longer a conductive environment for us to study anymore. I felt as though I'am living under the society of abuse. Like what I've written in the paper, This school has its own good points (little) but has flaws (many) too.

I'am giving up on relationships. I could hear myself saying a particular guy's name in class while gossiping with LPJ. I tried to make myself crush onto him. But I can't. I don't know why either. The only thing I know is, this is a stupid method to forget someone. Damn.

Anyway, good news! I bought my Fahrenheit 'so-called' diary or whatever. Sister said, it's the last book. WEE!

Smack me on the lips.




Sunday, March 25, 2007 | 11:27 PM
RANDOM Photos Up! ;D


4E1's CLASSROOM DECO!

4E1's CIP STORE! THE CUCKOOS' BAKERY! I know, it sounds stupid & weird. Haha.

& Bernice made this while we were supposed to be baking cookies & chocolates for CIP.

Look at Fangs & LPJ rushing their English essay. Muggers. =X

Meanwhile, look at the relaxed ones, slacking all the way. Grins.





We did try to stop her from mugging. In the end, we resort to murdering her!

Alright, it has been ages I last had photos in my blog. Whatever. Anyway, went over to Grandaunt's house to meet them for dinner. & we headed off to Marine Parade to have steamboat there. Oh gosh, I should had eaten like a glutton there man. Now, my stomach's growling in hunger. Then, came home. We wanted to shop somemore but since some particular asshole (You know who.) insists on coming home. What the fuck. Damn you la. I was critising & being sarcastic towards you just now during dinner, & how dumb! You dint realise it. You're really beyond hopeless.

Monday blues. Groans.




I'am pondering about what my mum had said earlier just now.
She wanted me to patch up things with my Dad. Well, not exactly patch up. Let me put it in this way, she doesn't want to see the both of us getting into somemore conflicts. She said something like,"Bear with him. Let me go to work with ease. I'am worried having you & sista at home alone with him. You, as the elder sister, should know what to do." Then, I suggested an idea to her. Divorce. Yes, the magical word. & she continued, "No, if I ask for a divorce, you girls will then lead a difficult life. My income's not enough for our expenses. & plus, you're taking your Os & sister's taking her streaming. Looking at the current situation, it's better than filing for a divorce because, there's still a roof above us." Even my cousin has the same problem with my Uncle. See, why are the Choy brothers like this? Are they all chips of the same block?

I hate to see my mum like this. I want to give her a better life. I don't want to let her suffer anymore. What can I do to help her? I felt like an immature kid, spending her hardearned money on unnecessary stuffs. What a letdown. & I told my mum, "I can't take this anymore. I love to see my blood flowing out of me. & thats why you can see those scars on me. If one day I really cut myself again, like what I did in P6, don't stop me. I really hate my blood. I hate myself to core. I detest being part of the Choy family. I regretted coming into this world." She must be hurt to hear that. But, I need ways to relieve the hatred & the pain within me.

& I'am going insane soon. I felt like ending my life.

Can you hear my screams of help?




Picture taken from yahoo.com.sg
Anyway, just watched Mr Bean's holiday & reached home at 12midnight on the dot. Jonathan treated us (XinKai, HoFung, Bryan, Arthur & you know, me.) to the movie. The movie's hilarious. We're all laughing like mad. Initally, I was kind of embarrassed to laugh so loudly in the cinema. But, by hearing all those roaring laughter, I began to join them. Lol. Plus, the whole row of chairs were shaking. Especially, with Bryan seated beside me, who kept laughing. Haha. Also, the bloody Ho Fung was kicking my seat from behind cause he was laughing crazily. The most amazing thing is, he could actually fall asleep during a comedy show (Due to his school's mass run. & Hes the champion again). A MUST-WATCH SHOW. WE LOVE BEAN! Lol. & then, took a cab home with Bryan & Arthur. Bid goodbye then.
Tution was fun as usual. Poor Sellick. He's got to go to National Stadium for some singing. LOL.
& went 'so-called' shopping with Mum & Sis at the newly-opened Giant. It was so freaking crowded. Especially, on the bus. I was like, smashed like a squashed orange. What the hell. & I was scolding "Fuck" all the way. I suppose, those around me might be labeling me as a crude girl. Who gives a damn about it anyway?
Physics tution tomorrow! (:
;Loves, Christina



Friday, March 23, 2007 | 9:51 PM
I'am fuming mad, so I changed my blog address to something much more sadist.
defacedbonds.blogspot.com (:
Link me people!



I HATE MY FUCKING FATHER TO THE CORE.
I'VE NEVER REGARDED HIM AS MY STUPID FATHER.
I WISHED I NEVER HAD A FATHER, & GREW UP IN A SINGLE PARENT FAMILY.
You can say, I'am a rebellious kid or so whatever. I don't give a damn.
Look what he given me. All his stupid genes.
His hideous rabbit teeth, his idiotic temper, his ever-so-rough skin, his curled up hair & the list goes on. Most importantly, his blood.
I hate myself for being his daughter. For having his blood flowing in me. For having the same surname which many people used it for jokes like, "Choy Ah!".
If not for my mum, I would had taken a knife & stabbed him straight.
Seriously, I hope he just get locked up in the Prison or somewhere. I need an airtank at home for fresh air. DEEP DOWN, I'VE ONLY HAVE A PARENT-- MY MUM.
I've never had a liking for him since young. He once driven me out of the house because of some trival stuff. & now, I'am going to prove to him that I'am not a stupid kid. I'am someone whom he should be proud of, but looking at how stuffs turned out, I think he can forget about being invited to the school for my Os results.
Once I go into higher education, I'am so going to leave this pig sty of mine. This home isn't my home. I'am going to come home late everyday after Os. & Before Os, I'll lock myself within my own room. I WILL NEVER WANT TO SEE HIS FACE. So many times, I wanted to runaway from this home. But I hanged on for the sake of my mum.
I wondered, why some other kids have loving & caring fathers. Why am I like this? Why am I in this family situation? If I had the power to decide everything, I would had gotten my mum to file for a divorce. I would rather put up with those nicknames such as"Fatherless child"& can never tolerate his fucking attitude. He dint even turned up for my PTM. & Mr Teoh was like, "Your mum only?" Yes, my mum ONLY.
You can never know how intense my hatred is for the fucking father I have. Same goes for my Mum & Sis. I aint joking. He's just a jerk who pretended to be a cassonva when he wooed my mum & now, look what, an ass in the pain after a marriage of 16 years. I suppose, hes got a mistress outside. Great! How I love that. Eventually, that bloody vixen know his true colours.



Thursday, March 22, 2007 | 9:43 PM
如果在我遇见她之前先遇见你,我就不会沦落到这种地步。。



Homework, Homework, Homework.
Tests. Tests. Tests.
Scoldings. Scoldings. Scoldings.
Speech Day, Speech Day, Speech Day.
CIP, CIP, CIP.



Tuesday, March 20, 2007 | 12:38 AM
I came across a video in youtube -- U N I The Youth of Red Cross MV.
I blog-hopped & saw pictures of NDP06 in Kaiting's blog.
Oh my gosh. So fast, in another two more weeks, I'am stepping down.
Which means, Bye Bye Red Cross.
Unless I join VIP. ;S



Anyway, today's the first day of school. & Guess what? Public canning. -.-! Shan't elaborate on that 'cause I don't find anything interesting or amusing about it. The thing is, I think, Seng Kang students are rather childish. Once you step into the boundaries of Seng Kang Sec, you'll find yourself coming into the primitive age or maybe, Seng Kang Zoologist Garden. No kidding. You know why? They see someone on the stage receiving public canning, & start to cheer for that particular person. How dumb. It isn't something glorious, neither it is something worth applauding. It's something that's humiliating & embarrassed. I'am also kind of ashamed to say, 'Public canning happened in my school' in my blog. Also, when Mrs Cheng just wanted to make an annoucement, the whole school (Well, maybe not whole school. Just the minority.) was like jeering. Such babyish acts. Like hello? You are already in Secondary school. Mind you, you're not still in Primary School or so whatever. Be a mature adult kid!

I was telling Sista about all these nonsensical stuffs & she couldn't stand my tone. -.- I was fuming mad, okay? I hate being in sucha lousy school like Seng Kang.

Yay! The Sec 4Es & 5Ns are moving down to the 3rd level for AIRCONDITIONED ROOMS! (: WEEEEHHHAAA. & There's no need to assemble after recess in the Parade Square. Finally, at last, the school's taking our feedbacks & doing some adjustments.

What's metal rub metal? Answer: Sparks!
Lol, the stupid yet funny 'riddle' Jason asked. How lame. !!

;Loves, Christina



Sunday, March 18, 2007 | 7:36 PM
Tears fall to the beat of a song,
A steady rhythm lasting too long,
The face grows red, the heart goes cold,
The story of her life is more than untold,

The tears make a track of hurt down her cheek,
She's living in darkness, slipping too deep,
Her dreams she once knew fall dead among fears,
They can't see the pain, even through all the tears,

Sitting at her desk, her heart bleeding through phrases,
Looking out the window, sky with black clouds and hazes,
The thought of a new day frightens her soul,
She's falling, dying, inside this bottomless hole,

Now, fallen too far, no one can reach down that deep,
Can't bring herself up. she is much too weak,
There she'll remain, making it her new home,...
But all of her life she's tried to prevent being alone.

Loneliness, A feeling of the devil.
Sometimes the devil rules us all
http://www.lovelandia.com/archive/Tears_Fall


Screams. Shucks.
Tomorrow marks the end of the March Holidays.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of all my worries.
OH NOOOOO. No way. I don't want to start school tomorrow. I have yet to enjoy my holidays fully. I'am still in the holiday mood. Groans.

Physics tution was alright. Clement can explain better than that Mr Selva.
Did my revision on Differentiation & completed my homework (Except Chinese compo ;().
& bought myself a new Nike waterbottle.

Bad news: There's Speech Day rehearsal tomorrow. (What a wet blanket!)


Monday Blues..



Saturday, March 17, 2007 | 9:33 PM
Blog-hopped & saw, Serene & Mabel's blog.
Oh man, I miss you girls. & yes, that Pearlyn Tan. Lol. I guess, it has been ages we last seen each other. We always say, 'Let's meet up one day', but eventually, we never did. Someday, after Os, we'll have a 6G/2003 class gathering. ;DD


Anyway, I finally turned up for Friday's tution lesson. Lol. Deon was like saying,"Wah, why so long never see you? Are you on runaway?" -.-! Groans. I was 'so-called' bullied by all the guys in my class. What the shit. Lol. Stupid XinKai & Ho Fung. The two bloody assholes who acted like crazy fellows complaining to my mum just because I pinched & hit them. Haha. See, you never know, I was that violent. (Hopefully, they read this.)
Today's Amaths tution was funny. Hilarious as usual, with my presence. Like duh! I was the only girl there. >,<

Went home & started on my homework craze. ;( Finished SS assignment, 2 History SBQ (Thanks to Sng Hup Song's History textbook!), Chemistry w/sheet, Physics w/sheet, English compo. I'am left with, Bio w/sheet, Amaths homework & Chinese compo. Yay! 3 cheers for Christina! ;D

;Loves, Christina



Friday, March 16, 2007 | 6:37 PM
Reasons why I hate having to stay at home alone during the holidays:

1) Because, I get emo easily with the quiet surrounding.
2) I starve because, I'am too lazy to get some food from the coffeeshop.
3) I need to do all the housework.
4) It means, studying time too.
5) It's so boring, staring into the computer screen.

Yes, I stayed at home today due to no lessons & I need to finish my homework fast. It's so disappointing. 4 hours & I'am only half-way through Social Studies homework. R4R, organizer & 3 SEQs for two longest topic-- Sustaining Singapore's Development in 21st Century & Governance. I almost fell asleep while doing the reading. There's still Chinese & English compo, History assignment to go & Amaths test to study. Shit. I'am only left with 2 more days.
I can't believe it, a week of holidays just flew passed.



;Loves, Christina



Groans.


I hate reading other people's blog. Because, it will make me realise that I have very limited vocabulary. I'am always using those same old words. Maybe, I should try reading & memorising the whole book of dictionary just like what the scholor did & scored well for Os. Hmm, good idea. Who knows, I might even outdo Mrs Cheng.

Desired L1R5: 12 points. Ha, 12 points. I can't even get into Meridian JC. The raw point for MJC's 10!! Urgh. 10 points, you know. To achieve 10 points, I need to get at least an A2 for all subjects. Ah yes, my Chinese's already an A2. How great if I scored an A1 for it. ;( My Sec 3 L1R5 was 18. Lame shit. 18. -.- I can go nowhere. Yes, the chuck will want me. My goal's getting vague & ambiguous. I'am starting to doubt my own capabilities. Uncertain of where to go, I stand at the same spot, distracted by affairs of heart.



My guided star..

就算是喜欢,也要装着不喜欢。




Wednesday
Biology SPA assesment was okay. It wasn't really that scary uh. Had no idea why all the other mates got so nervous about an graded experiment. I mean, if you know how to carry out the experiment, good for you. If you don't, just bid your A1 bye bye. It's like, since you've studied & did your part, leave the rest to fate then. Afterall, it's an experiment. You can't really pin high hopes on it & guess what's going to come out. Score well for the other papers will do. Okay, we had to test the contents of the urine of a normal person, a diabetic person & a person who have high protein concentration. Oh man, it's just sooo yucky. The bottle with the protein content stinks terribly. I almost wanted to shout across the whole lab when the smell just diffused to my area. Thank god, I din't screw up my experiment. Plus, I redo the whole experiment twice just to play safe.
After SPA, went to take a look at the NCOs camp. & then, met mum at the school gate. Because of the stupid parent teacher meeting. & Mr Teoh talked to my mum for like 10minutes only. -.- Seriously, it's so freaking lame.
Then, Fangs phoned me up & asked me out to Buigs. Alright, went home to change & off to Buigs. Shopped for a new bag, a new watch & Cao Ge's cd.


Rushed home to continue watching My Girl. The show's nice. (:

Lee Dong Wook's HANDSOME. Lol.















Thursday
Had Chemistry SPA practice again. It was okay too. Went to CP for a quick lunch before I rush off for my dental appointment. Oh shucks, dental appointment. I broke one of my braces & my wire was like coming out & cutting my inner gum or something. Fuck. It was in terrible horrible state. The worst thing is, I bit my doctor's finger AGAIN. Double shit. Haiz.
Rushed home & continued watching My Girl. Yay! Finally, I've finished them. (:

Tomorrow, I'am gonna start on my homework & study. Finally, a day with no school/lessons. ;DD

;Loves, Christina



Tuesday, March 13, 2007 | 5:20 PM
Holidays suck big time. I need to be in school everyday. Imagine, EVERYDAY.
What the hell. & plus, almost EVERYDAY, we need to do SPA practicals. Tomorrow's Biology SPA Assesment. Faints. I've not started studying yet. Hmm, there isn't much to study anyway.
Piles of homework are lying in my bag. It tried to wake me up but yet, I can't make my mind to have them done. Seriously, I don't have the mood to start my homework/studying.

Anyway, yesterday, we had our Physics SPA prac at 8am. How stupid. We only did one practice before yesterday's one. We have no idea what to do & how to carry out the bloody freaking experiment. It was tiring me out, with all those stupid squatting downs figuring out the angle of refraction & blah. Then, continued with Biology SPA prac. Dittos. Those Sec 2s came back from their oh-so-fun Sec 2 adventure camp & making a mole out of the mountain, with all the screamings & shoutings of their cheers. Damn it. Do you guys ever know how hard it is to carry out the experiment with the noise level? Spare a thought for the Sec 4s who are taking their Os, PLEASE! I wondered, why did I ever end up in this stupid school with all those barbarians acting as though they are all 3 year olds. Childish bunch of kids. The Bio prac was totally senseless. My plant was like dying because of the high light intensity. I redo the whole experiment twice. It's so demoralising. & plus, we have to count the small, tiny bubbles withing 1 minute with the light shinning right into our eyes. Oh man, my pupil hurts. I'am squinting my eyes okay. By the time, all those practicals ended, it was already 1.30pm. Headed towards the computer lab for Maths. Lame shit. Why do we have to learn how to use the software when we have no use for it during Os? Waste my 2hours there. I'am not going for the lesson again on Thursday. Rush off to CP with Fangs & LPJ for late lunch + early dinner.

Today, Chemistry lesson. Initially, it was Chemistry SPA prac. But, it turned out to be normal theory lesson because some mates dint turn up. Alright, whatever. Then, we went up to the classroom to get our files & textbooks. Lol. We did something we're somehow proud of because of our class spirit, but at the same time, guilt-ridden. It's a secret. =X Uh huh, went off to CP to have lunch with Jiayi, Pris, Yen, Fangs & LPJ. Like wow, we shopped there for 2 hours.

Okay, something big happened in our class. So angry, fuming with anger. That bloody hell.

;Loves, Christina



Sunday, March 11, 2007 | 8:58 PM
From the start, this place keeps me warm & alive -- Your heart.


LOL, I was telling Jason about what happened in the zoo just now. & I'am laughing my head off.
The part when the monkey showed me his freaking asshole, when the monkeys & crocos made love, when we started saying 'WOW' to every animal we see, when we started making fun of that chimpaneze, when we kept saying the 'XIAO BAI, XIAO BAI, NI ZAI NA LI!' & ... In another words, we did so many numerous crazy stuffs. If I can get those pictures & videos from Huiyi/Clarence/Jinghan, how great! They're the so-called photographers in our group. Haha.

Anyway, we were so-called late for the gathering la because I thought we were supposed to meet them at Clementi MRT Station but, it turned out to be Choa Chu Kang MRT Station. Then, Calvin took out his wallet in the City Hall Station & said, let's take taxi. What the hell. He's a rich boy for once. Lol. Hello Calvin Poh, don't be like me & picked up the bad habit of taking taxis all the time. I'am getting so addicted to cabs. ;( So, the cab fee from City Hall to CCK MRT Station was around 12bucks. Who cares anyway, afterall, I wasn't the one who's paying. Lol. & we saw Jason. Alright, he looks like a kid somehow. =X Okay, I don't look any better too. Haha. Bid goodbye to him as he went off for tution. Joined KhooYu Sir & peeks. Stupid ZQ & Cal were always PS-ing me. Ng Kaiting, the noisy one, Clarence & JinPing came. Off we go! Kaiting was made the butt of our jokes. Haha, sorry girl. We built our happiness & joy on your misery & suffering. Rofl. Okay, I'am too lazy to elaborate on what happened inside the zoo la. You know, I got "tanned" by turning somehow reddish. ;( I want the colour of CHARCOAL, not the colour of a BAMBOON. & My leg aches are KILLING me after walking 6 hours in the zoo! !

;Loves, Christina
The image of your face
Of your last requesting lips
Begging me to come close

Vibration of sounds, containing my inner words
Reverberate through these halls
Through these hallway walls
But no one cares



Saturday, March 10, 2007 | 10:31 PM
PEEKOS! Uh, let's welcome the March holidays with a big "warm" hug.
I don't know why it deemed itself as HOLIDAYS when it's scheduled with classes & lessons everyday during the holidays. It doesn't make a difference whether it is holidays or not.
Nevertheless, I will still enjoy my shopping spree! ;D

Practically, I slacked the whole day again. Went over to Uncle's for visiting (Mum, Excuse me, CNY's already over. Why do I still need to go for visitings?). Then, went back for tution. Usual, tution was fun & hilarious. Lol. You should had seen how crazily I laughed during tution. >.< Came back from tution & head for my favourite place besides those shopping malls-- Tampines Regional Library. I grabbed those books as though I was shopping for clothes during the sales period. Haha. & I failed to borrow that book (Sam's letters to Jennifer by James Patterson). I love reading his romantic novels. It's nice especially Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas. Anyway, I lend that book to LPJ. & then, shopped for my tee in TM. I just bought another two magazines on WuZun which costed me a total of $4. Mum din't really reprimand me because, she was dying to read the TV synopsis. How stupid.

Oh shucks. Just 1minute ago, I thought my comp hang. 'Cause the screen went blank. I got freaked out. I was thinking, "What the hell!? I'am typing my 'half-done' blog entry!"

Alright, tomorrow's gonna be a day full of surprises & adventure! I'am going to zoo finally after like 6 years? I miss those animals there, especially Ahmeng the chimpaneze. Lol. I'am a die-hard fan of this pretty little (Or let me put it in this way, old yet charming) chimpaneze. Haha. I must get to see him tomorrow no matter what. (:
& Jason's meeting us tomorrow too at Clementi MRT station. WAHAHAHA JINGKAI. We're gonna beat you up into pulps. You'll end up just like your pathetic dustbin cousins. ;D

Ah yes. Stop labeling me as a 'inhuman sister'. I MISS my sister whos in Jalan Bahtera camping right now ok? I'am just glad that shes off my back & I can have some peace at last. However, the whole house seemed so quiet without her. Like, something's amiss. Well, who knows? She might just call back home from camp tomorrow & say, shes down with fever or whatever crap reason she can come up with. But, I doubt she will dare to do it infront of Mr Raj.

;Loves, Christina



Friday, March 09, 2007 | 6:21 PM
He's the reminder of why I live..


It bothered me. I'am worried for myself. I seem to be falling into depression. Or maybe, I'am just getting too paranoid & having moodswings.
Yesterday night, I was studying for History test. I stared hard at those notes & then started, banging my fists on the table. I locked myself inside the room & reminded myself to do well. Words of expectations from others played inside my mind like movie. Tears stung my eyes. But, I forced them back. I wrote the whole essay again & again. For like, 3 times.
Something's not right with me.

School was fun today. & the stupid History test which I studied dilligently, turned out to be an open-book test. What the hell. If I knew that it was an open-book test, I wouldn't had gotten myself so stressed up & only sleep at 12.30am, and woke up at 5.30am to revise. The Sec 2s were at Jalan Bahtera for their Sec 2 Character Development Camp. BYEEE VONNY, I will miss you. Lol. Sec 1s & 3s had their 'i-dunno-what' learning journey. & As usual, you know, Sec 4s get left behind & study in classrooms for their so-called learning journey day. As a result, many teachers weren't in class. Since, most of the teachers were out on an excursion with the other classes, why Sec 4s still have to come back & waste time in the cooped-up classrooms? Miss Ong din't turn up for Chinese, Mr Selva for physics & Mdm Sharifah for History. & After school, we had our Amaths SSP at 2.30pm. Had so much fun despite it's SSP/extralesson. Mr Pinto treated us to PizzaHut (8 sets of pizzas. ;DD). Thus, I settled my lunch & dinner there. Lol.

Tomorrow's the Talentine 2007. I can't attend as a supporter now since Mum says, we've something going on tomorrow. Sorry guys. All the best yeah!

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. NDP gathering at the Zoo.
Monday. Monday. Monday. Steamboat at Joanne's house.

;Loves, Christina
I lay awake in the glow of your light,
Looking upon you with the fondest eyes.



Wednesday, March 07, 2007 | 11:59 PM
有多希望我能坚强地假装我根本就不喜欢你,好想把你忘掉。。
这样的话,我就不会无缘无故的对着镜子笑了、也不会在不知不觉地情况下掉眼泪、不会天天在听情歌时想起你、不会在生病时,希望你传歌简讯给我、不会在一边偷偷地望着你。我更不会在你靠近的时候,心跳的十分快,脸红的快要爆炸,怕你发现我紧张,而后退两步。当朋友取笑我时,我也可以笑着对他们说,“哈!可笑!我这么会喜欢他?”我也可以对自已说,他是我的好朋友,只是朋友,不能超越朋友的界限。常常反复的问自已这同样的问题:到底我喜欢上你是个错误或是个真确的选择? 我自已也知道,这是一个不会有结局的单恋,一个深深的无底洞。但,我却愿意陷入这个洞穴。我该这么办?



YES! A sense of satisfaction filled me. I've completed my 'Trend' essay! Yay! & It's like, two pages. Okay, it's no big deal. Because, I know, there are many people in my class who can write better than I do. I'am so-called the lousy ones among them.

Well, returned back to school today. Oh groans. School life & it it sucks. First period, Emaths test. Screwed up. I din't realise that my knowledge on vectors are actually that limited. I've already lost 6 pathetic marks. ;( Second period, English. Discussion on Euthanasia again. & we actually made Mrs Cheng so pissed off until she stormed out of the class in the middle of lesson because no one gives the points for supporting Euthanasia (That time, I was giving out the Vocab book). Then, Mr Teoh saw the whole thing, came in & gave us his piece of mind. Mrs Cheng came back to the class, with flushed cheeks, & voice shaking. It's obvious that she cried. Mrs Cheng, sorry. ;( So, we continued our lessons. I could sense the unhappiness in her. Late for Mother Tongue lesson because Mrs Cheng was talking to us about our essay on Euthanasia. Gotten back my test paper for MT. What the shit. So freaking lousy. I hate myself for producing such results. Especially, for CHINESE. Christina, You're a CHINESE, you've got to do well for your own language that you've been speaking for the 16 years you've live in this cruel world. Recess time, went to meet Mrs Cheng again regarding our essay. & some fucking bitch-es spoilt our recess. Screamed & sang like retards during sucha crowded time of the day. Do you think your voice is that sexy? FAINTS. Do you girls have a sense of shame? Oh yes, I know why but I'am not gonna say. Because, if I posted in here, there will be chaos & people will start reprimanding me in my blog. Assembled under the hot scorching sun after the terrible meal I had at the smallest canteen in schools that I've seen. Like hello? I just recovered from a fever yesterday & today, I need to stand there & tan myself?! Stupid rules. Teachers should be grateful that I din't faint under that circumstances. Thanks to my strong immune system which I've built after yesterday's rest. Amaths was next. I studied for the retest & I was told that it was not really graded. I felt like killing myself for being such a ditto. Why did I ever studied for a test that I wasn't graded on? Then, Chemistry. Redox retest is scheduled during holidays. Another test which I studied for nothing. Bell rang & it was Selva's lesson. We slacked away half of his lesson in Chemistry lab with Miss Ong explaining the CT retest. Haha. Went back to class, & I started doodling Wu Zun's name in my organiser AGAIN. Like dozens, billions of time I've drew his name on my own property. Lol. School ended. But, rushed off to Hall with Fangs for her prize-giving rehearsal. Then, Biology SSP. I almost fell asleep during the lesson. 'Cause it's like more than half the class is at the Speech Day rehearsal. It seemed so restless. Chemistry SSP was cancelled & NO CT RETEST. WHAT THE SHIT. LOL. It's the 3rd test which I studied & din't had the test. Totally sian. So, went with Fangs & LPJ to CP to grab our lunch. Walked to CP & we saw AngRen on bus 27. Fangs go, "HHHHIIII ANGREENNN!!! (Waving her hand frantically across the road like nobody's business)" LOL. Freaking funny. Fangs, you know, WINDOW. A piece of glass. -.-!! Went into PizzaHut & had our student meals. We were like total retards. I can't really elaborate on what we did. Lol. You should had seen the situation, man. The thought of it just makes me go crazy. From the soup all the way to the cockroach that Fangs saw in the toilet cubicle. LOL. Took 27 home alone & reading my Au Pairs all the way.

Reached home, rushed off to the toilet & took a bath. Slumped straight down to my computer chair & started working on my Trends essay. Then, studied SS test for 20 minutes. Incredible. I could actually memorise the 2 pages essay in 20 minutes. Thanks to History! (:
& BOO, I'am blogging now.

Suddenly, I remembered Camp Unity Bravo's cheer. Something like this, 'BOOO, SCARED RIGHT?' LOL. Then, I will reply, 'SIBEI SCARED WOR.' (Muttering to myself, Kaiting, Eugene & Khairul.) Haha.

I can't wait for Sunday. NDP GATHERING AT ZOO. -.-
I can't wait for Sunday. NDP GATHERING AT ZOO. -.-
I can't wait for Sunday. NDP GATHERING AT ZOO. -.-

Oh yes! I forgotten, I've not eaten my dinner yet. Darn it. I'am so going to have gastrics tomorrow.

;Loves, Christina
I love Wu Zun!



Monday, March 05, 2007 | 1:55 PM
38.7°C; 37.9°C; 37.6°C; 36.7°C; 36.2°C

Yay! My fever's down. However, body still aches like I've got stung by bees. Everything tastes so bland & awful. I need to add lots & lots of soy sauce to the 'purified' porridge.
& I need to have that huge fever pill down my oesophagus. The thing is, I don't know how to have the pill down. I have a phobia for huge pills. Once, I swallowed it & then vomitted everything out (Including my meal that I ate before that) just because I choked on it. So dumb. So, this time, Mum had the pill 'chopped' (LOL) into 4 small fragments. & By looking at those 4 small pathetic pieces, it turns me off. I refused to see the doctor. If I do, more pills are on the way. & the worst thing of all is, I skipped school today. Which means, I need to take my History SBQ test, Chemistry Redox test & CT retest, Amaths Trigo Differentiation, Emaths vectors test tomorrow all at one shot. Like, damn it? Totally no mood to study with all those aches & sore throat. & I forced myself to though.

Loves, Christina



Sunday, March 04, 2007 | 2:30 PM
I sing my sad song secretly.

Coughs. I'am typing this entry with a sore throat & a splitting headache. Let me predict. I'll probably have a fever & running nose later in the night. It's always like this. & Finally, I'am sick (Especially, after CNY).

Oh gawd. I don't feel like studying for any tests. I want to sleep through the whole afternoon & night. Friends are having Parent Teacher Meeting in school. Dad & Mum refused to meet Albert Teoh. I wonder, whether it is a blessing in disguise or a misery in the head.

Yay! NDP gathering this Sunday. WEE! I can't wait to go. (:


& I've got Emaths Translation homework, English essay, Biology worksheet to work on. Chemistry Redox test, Amaths Trigo Differentiation test & History test to study. Faints.

;Love, Christina



I'am losing my way. I seem to have doubts about myself if I'am on the right track or not. My goal of scoring straight As in Os starts to shake. My dream of being an ambitious doctor is getting more vague. So many distractions; what am I supposed to do? Everyone's expecting something out of me.

Parents expect a good daughter. A daughter who can help them with the housework. Obey them no matter what. Do not spend lavishly. Good results. No speaking back. A role model for Sister. No vulgarities. Be a sincere buddhist. Do what I'am supposed to do.

Sibling expects a good sister. A sister who can help her in her homework. Someone whom she can look up to. Someone whom she can joke with though I'am studying. Allow her to use the computer despite all my researchings.

Relatives expect a good great-granddaughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, aunt. Turn up for the gatherings & dinners. Respect.

Friends expect a good friend. Keep their secrets deep down within me. Just a call away from them. Coach/Help each other in studies. Make their school life shine as brightly as a star. Lend them a listening ear; Listen to all their complains, woes and stories.

Teachers expect a good student. Hand in homework on time. Behaves well at all times. Knee-length skirts. 4cm high socks. Neat hair. Act like an nerd. Do well for mini-tests & exams.

Expected to be a good secretary in the committee. Show no attitude. Do tasks that you're assigned to. Lead others. Discipline. Know stuffs well.

Even, I'am expecting myself to be the best. Expect myself to study at least 18hours per day; like crazy. Expect myself to cut all distractions-- computer, telly, handphone. Live up to my own expectations. Expect myself to get into Hwa Chong JC if I can (If not, Meridian JC). Expect myself to eat at regular times.

I'am only an ordinary highschool girl. I ain't genius. Even genius has flaws too. Why is everyone expecting such high expectations from me? I'am getting suffocated. I find it so hard to keep up with all these. This feels like it isn't me at all.




My 2nd Uncle..

Having dinner later at grandaunt's house with cousins again.

I've not touched any homework yet, & studied for any tests. Rotten.

;Loves, Christina



Saturday, March 03, 2007 | 4:05 PM
Your eyes melt me with emotion so intense it is beyond belief.
Each day your smile fills my heart with a joy like no other.
Your hand is my staff.
Your voice is my guide.
Your strength is my shelter.

HELLLOOOO!

So freaking irritating. My whole bloody mood is being ruined by a stupid task--to plan station games for next week training together with Pei Jie. What the hell. We're having at least 2 tests everyday from next week onwards. What a spoilsport. I ain't gonna finish the task. My results are far more important than Red Cross stuffs. My Staff Sergeant rank, BYE BYE. I don't give a freaking care whether I'am demoted or what. As long as, my results prove me that I'am right. You guys should have expected this from me since the last camp proposal. Yes, I'am getting more defiant. 'Cause, I detest everything about Seng Kang Secondary. I swear, if I've become a VI, or maybe, once I graduate, I will never EVER step into this freaking bloody Seng Kang Secondary School.

Breathes in, breathes out. Heart pumps regularly.

Back from tution about an hour ago. Satisfied with myself for being able to do almost all the Trigo Differentiation from the ShingLee book. ;D & Jon praised me. YAY YAY YAY! I MUST do well for my Trigo Differentiation test on MONDAY. & Redox & History test on Tuesday. My Vectors & Chemistry (CT retest) on Wednesday. My Social Studies test on Thursday. Most importantly, my Os.

Oh yes, did I tell you guys something? My Chemistry SPA Os are scheduled on my 16th birthday. Oh faints. I don't think I'am celebrating Sister's & mine birthday this year. No cakes. No candles. No presents. Nothing. ;'(

Off to visit my 2nd Uncle later with Great grandma (Paternal), grandaunt, granduncle & cousins. Seriously, I don't like going over to my 2nd Uncle's. 'Cause, his two elder kids are actually my half-cousins. & my 2nd Uncle forbids us to label them as 'our-half-cousins'.

;Loves, Christina



Friday, March 02, 2007 | 8:10 PM
By Josh Wolski
The horizon holds my answers
In shades of orange and red
The sunset rises and falls
While I wait for you

I’m wondering when you’re going to notice
Me
Just standing here staring at you
When you’re going to understand
That I fell in love with you
The first time I saw you

I’d live for ever if I promised to love you for that long
Cheat death just to be with you

Formulate words of desire
But frustrated I’ve become
Wording perfect
Speech is chaotic
If only you knew I existed

You’d ask me to tell you all the ways I’d love you
And I’d speak forever

Smile
Just show me a fond eye
So impatient wanting
Will diminish

Just take one more step
You’ll be in my arms
Just take one more breath
You’ll be kissing me
If only you knew I existed
I’ve been waiting patiently

The taste of air has grown stale
Color mine as well be black and white
My days are all dark
And I lay through endless nights

Why can’t lips move
Where do thoughts flow
I know if I never speak
Then you will never know
If only
Only you
Knew I existed
Extracted from http://www.lovelandia.com/archive/If_only_you_knew_


Well, we had CIP today. Profit was quite ok, I can say. So, yeah.
Lessons are boring. Super boring. & for this whole term, I've been falling asleep in class. I promise, from next term onwards, I'am gonna be a good kid, & listen to all lessons. Especially during the most monotone Emaths lesson conducted by Mr Albert Teoh. I will go to bed at 10pm instead of 11pm every night. (:

& then, training was okay too. The sec 1s measured their uniform & beret size. I couldn't believe that one day for example, today, I would be measuring the uniform for them, just like a mother buying clothes for her child. Haha. Super fun. The sec 1s are super cute. ;D 4pm, initially, it was the rehearsal for Speech Day. Unfortunately, Heaven's helping us & playing a trick on the NCC. Lol. It poured heavily. Raining cats & dogs. So, the colour/flag group including the escorts practiced in the science block instead. Actually, we're just slacking there. 'Cause the space's super small & we can't really do any marching drills. Then, went down at 5pm for a trial run. But, it's still drizzling. & we changed the venue to Hall. We're getting somehow better & getting a hang of it. But, there's still room for improvements. Went back RC room & was forced to do 60 pumpings because the cadets did 30. Aw groans.

So, here I am, still in my stinky Mufti attire blogging. I simply can't resist the temptation of letting my fingers roam about on the keyboard & view my blog with WUZUN's photo. LOL.

Tomorrow's Amaths tution. I'am so going to work hard on my Trigo Differentiation. I don't want to fail it just like what I did to my Kinematics Differentiation. Pull my socks higher!

;Loves, Christina



Thursday, March 01, 2007 | 7:05 PM
She smiles at him, yet tearing inside.
She only wanted her good side to be portrayed infront of him.


Yes! I've got the time to spare so, I CHANGED my blogskin. Heh. Super satisfied. Plus, it's all WUZUN-personalised. Lol. Last since I blogged was, Monday. Er, 4 days ago. I was telling Prissy in class how much I missed blogging. 'Cause, nowadays, I only blogged once per week (estimated).

Talked about Trends among Singapore teens & Euthanasia during English lesson. Fun topics. (: In my opinion, I do support Euthanasia. I mean, the patients had already gone through a series of painful treatment. All they wanted was a dignified death. They don't want to die with a body of half their original size. But, on the other hand, if Euthanasia is legalised, there will be chaos. Everyone will be doing that. Moreover, it is against some religious aspects. It's a tough decision & the society's still debating over it.
During Chinese lesson, had Zaojue. Total crap! 'Cause I dint study for it. Sure to flunk it. & then, Miss Ong touched on a topic about the WSM incident or something. How I wished I was in an Independent/Autonomous school. I hate being in a school like mine. Because, firstly, there are more intelligent kids in those schools, which make me naturally a genius as well. Secondly, Independent/Autonomus schools have much more freedom in their school activities etc. Unlike Goverment schools-- inflexible.
Biology test was easy today. Hopefully, I can score an A1 again.

Anyway, our class's having another sale for our CIP tomorrow again.
I guess this time, no more cookies & sweets. Only CHOCOS!
GRAB THEM FAST. THEY'RE SERIOUSLY FAST-SELLING!

Yawns, off to watch Huayangshaonianshaonu for the third time. LOL.

;Loves, Christina





CHRISTINA

petite.loud.wols.
Legal for alcoholic drinks :)
1st Nov 1991
Scorpio
Tampines JC. 08S02

"Better now than I was before, but I still miss you"


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This blogskin is made by Eugin and he obtained his resources from Shizoo only.