I thought i might need to update this already-dying blog, but I doubt anybody else will still read it cause everytime they pop by, they see no new updates and they got tired of visiting by. But of course, I still miss typing in here and kind of feeling nostalgic about the past.
PS, THIS POST MAY BE A LIL LONG. PARDON ME.
So, what have I been doing for past 1 month or so after the big As are over?
Finally, I've tasted how felt like to be an adult, having early mornings, face the whole closet of clothes, yet have nothing to wear, and then get dressed in a hurry and squeezed the damn bus so as to reach workplace on time, and then in the morning, I had to face a whole bunch of people at workplace with a nice smile. And thats what I practically hate about, if you had known me well enough, you'll just realize that every schoolday morning I would pull an unhappy face to school and just sit there staring into the sky, doing nothing at all. Now, I cant believe I had to fake a smile every morning because I'm placed at the General Office counter and its a lil like a service kinda job, sighhhh. Till now, I understood why Mummy is always saying its much easier being a student, because all I need to do is to excel in exams, do my homework & be a model student (or at least, act to be one). And so this is why Daddy comes home everyday after work with a black face, now I totally understand its because he faced tremendous stress at work. Yeah, if you've been following the unhappy case that happened ages ago between me and my dad, you would probably realize that I've grown up (BUT I wouldnt totally say I've matured because I know I still do not know many things, and I need time to learn from each mistakes I made in life) & tried to understand his situation. But again, its not like my work ain't interesting at all, in fact, I really love being around with them. :) Like having much fun w the younger generation temp staff tho they're still all older than me, or the love & warmth I always felt from Cady's morning hugs, Marina's care whether I'm recovering from my fever, and the nice big big gathering for the TDS Staff. Tho I just joined in, but it felt like I've been in this big family for a very long time already, and was welcomed with such tremendous warmth. :) I'm loving it, seriously, just that perhaps I still havent got used to working life, or I'm just being nolstagic about the student lifestyle.
If I were to give advice to those still schooling, I would say cherish those moments you still have in school. Because once you graduate, you will find it so hard to find time to go back to school just to have a small talk with those teachers who once really cared so much about you and had so much high expectations about you, or make some time to spend worthy time with those buddies you made in school, because everyone would have just moved on with life, and have their own stuff to get busy with.
I wonder, am I the only one still stuck in the past, and not moving on. I still havent figured out what course I want in Uni, I still haven't got over him tho I always say I want to. I just realized that everyone's telling me to give up, but no one has told me how should I go about doing it, because I have no idea how I should just let this r/s go. Everytime he approaches me, I go back to him once again, and I just cannot control myself, its like I'm totally losing myself in front of him.
Seriously, I just want to go back to those days when I complained too much about school and dread so much about having to stand in the field, listening to Helen Choo giving her everyday blessings, I do miss it actually, because that time is the only time I stand beside to Cherie and touch her flabs (I miss my dear Cherie a lot a lot), or stand infront of Sandu/Syl and always talking to them/hugging them, or gossiping with Joz and PW about TV dramas, and Jan of course I wouldn't miss her out, everytime need to persuade her to come school. I miss them, can they hear this? Syl is farfarfar away in U.S now, I think she's going to study there in the future :( Maybe Joz would go Aus too, since she took SAT already. Then, E's going army. :( Jan, Idk, its like we lost contact sighhh. Pew, I miss your every little encouragement note, I had them all pinned up on this board in front of my study desk, yknow.
I miss those softball trainings as well, where I always tried to do okay but I never always did, because I suck at it. I miss those OCIP people too.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhh, how sad, I still need to move on with life, because its another new year, I've grown a year older.
When we were young, we always wished to grow up faster, but when we are already grown ups, we wish to remain as it is/go back to the past.
