<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12782551\x26blogName\x3dChristina\x27s+Blog+;D\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://defacedbonds.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://defacedbonds.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d115451588298698998', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 | 7:36 AM
School has been like suffocating under never-ending homeworks, tutorials, assignments and project work. & It seems to me that everyday simply feels like surviving on a life support machine or perhaps, walking each step on a rope with extra caution. I might just go off the machine or just land myself flat dead. The only thing I'm uncertain about is, when is the time?

Yesterday
I dragged myself out of bed and walked into the bathroom, only to see myself with puffy eyes. Tsk, I look even unable-to-face-the-public with that stupid darn 4 red pimples. Went to school with a gloomy mood 'cause I was still mourning over Mark's death. I just can't help it, you see. Sandu, Monkey and Kash were the first few to notice the look in my eyes. Okay, I think they noticed the pimples too. But that's not the whole point. For the first time, I ate my breakfast without talking much. I ignored Cherie. I didn't try to brighten someone's morning with a nice smile and a cheerful mood. :( Then, Syl came. All I can say is, you are the best man. It's like, only you knew how it feels to lose a dear pet. Had PE, but stopped after a while 'cause of stomach ache. So then, I continued to emo the whole day. The entire emo-ing process then 'transformed' into a terrible headache during Econs and GP. Again, I ignored Jan, & Moo. Bio Prac was horrible. I had to endure the damn onion smell when I'm already seeing stars. What the hell. Rushed out of the school gate with Syl, and home.
Being at home was even worse. I went to sit infront of Mark's 'tank' and kept knocking the cover. I don't know why am I doing that. I was just hoping he would revive and at least move. But obviously, he didn't since he was 'pronounced' dead on Sun evening. Stoned in front of the computer, with no momentum to do any homework nor read the online daily horoscopes. So I wasted my time watching youtube.
Moo messaged me, "Why are you so quiet today?"
Sorry Moo, I never wanted to affect those around me either. :( I just couldn't force myself to put on a facade yesterday. I didn't want myself to smile and act as though everything's fine when the actual fact is, it isn't. I promise, everything would return to like before, in another couple of days.



Sunday, July 27, 2008 | 6:32 PM
In memory of a faithful friend
Rest in peace, Mark
2000-2008

He was more than just a pet tortoise.
He was a faithful friend cum a family member.

Mark, I'm sorry I didn't really take good care of you when you're around.
8 years are neither long nor short.
Still, I thank you for being with me for the last 8 years.
& now, I know you've gone to somewhere much beautiful,
somewhere called Heaven,
where you're in God's hands,
with him taking care of you for me.
I'll not grieve,
and dwell upon your death
instead, I would celebrate your life.
You'll always live on in my memory.



Saturday, July 26, 2008 | 4:43 PM
10 facts
  1. Durians are finger-licking good!
  2. I play with my hair with my fingers when I sleep.
  3. I get stomach-aches everyday.
  4. I used to play 'wrestling' games with my dad when I was young. Hmm, I do play with him now too.
  5. I hate yam. I'd rather die than eat it.
  6. I can take only 7 minutes to get ready for school. (Including shower, brush teeth, change into uniform, put everything into my bag, wear shoes)
  7. I give my mum a goodnight kiss on the cheek before I sleep. (Most of the time)
  8. When I do my homework at my study desk or using the computer, I sit cross-legged all the time.
  9. I was told I'm supposed to be a left-hander instead of a right-hander. Thats why you see me holding my spoon and knife in my left hand.
  10. I used to think my sister and I are twins. 'Cause we always celebrate our birthdays together and even share cakes since our birthdays are only a day difference. & always wear the same clothes when we were young.



Friday, July 25, 2008 | 11:59 PM
Psalm 138:8
The Lord will work out his plans for my life.

Well well well, I was feeling a little depressed over the house committee thing and er, uhm, power struggle when I got kind of 'lightened up' when this verse came into my mind and reminded me that plans belonging to God would be something marvelous. So, I don't really take it to heart that I actually lose something in return for something else that is far better and perhaps, suits me the best. Because, I know, God cares for me, and you. All of us. & His plans would always be good for us.

& You see, only in such instances, I believe in God. Like what Eugin always says, Perception is a very strong word. Lol. P.S he keeps repeating it for the last 2 days I guess?

My dear sweetheart Syl is BACK from Vietnam. Oh gosh chicken mushroom, you've turned extremely black. Okay er, I should say, tanned instead. The moment I saw her when I got down from the bus on Thursday morning, I ran straight up to her, tapped her on the shoulder, & woahhhhhh, an unexpected big hug came from her. Haha, & it was right infront of the side gate,with a bunch of TPJCians walking into the school. So malu-ed but anyways, was really glad that she's now BACK with us! When Syl met Moo & Jan during morning assembly, we got into some kind of big hugging session! It totally felt like the four of us reunited again! During break, Jan & I was like rushing through her card & the heart-shaped balloons which I actually found it in my room. Moo was stalking time for us by entertaining Syl. The whole time blowing the balloons and finding the balloons in the canteen extension after it flew away was real hilarious. & Jan was like super proud that those balloons contained her AIR & said, Syl have to release bit by bit to enjoy her AIR -.- Okay Jan, you're getting kind of disgusting here. Lol. We didnt have time to tie the 3 balloons together (Each one from Moo, Jan & I) so Jan put the balloons into her big batman-superman-wonderwoman jacket and it looked like half a Sandu! So, Jan had to go to the bookshop and ask for a rubberband 'cause Syl was complaining about the half a Sandu. Then Syl had to carry the three balloons for the whole day. & Today, she was complaining again, saying how she took the balloon on the way back yesterday, with so many people squeeeeezing her in the crowded bus. Eh, come on la Syl, we went to GREAT efforts to celebrate your return la! Be appreciative okay! & Where's our PRESENTS? Like what Moo says, if you didnt buy anything for us there, then get something from Sg, we'll just pretend we don;t know. Oh ya, HOW DARE YOU BRING MINT SWEETS BACK, WHEN YOU ACTUALLY KNOW I DONT EAT MINT!!!!

It was also MJC Band Concert on Thursday. Went back & saw quite alot of familiar faces like MALINA!, Jeremy, Wongyi, my sweet Jodie, Lucience, Mansfield, Zhenghui mortal, Jason (Not you, Jason Wo. Hhaha), Firdaus, & more more more. Sat with Daniel Solomen, Hector, bird and some of his friends, Lois and her friend joined us after the first half. Hmmm, despite feeling kind of isolated, I was in fact, feeling superduperultramega happy till I went lalalala high up the sky when I saw Vin the boyboy, P and Jiayi on the stage, playing their instruments. During the intermission, went over to find P and omgosh, she was totally surprised to see me there. I already 'warned' her that I'm going. Lol. & Gave her a BIGBIGBIGBIG hug. Then I almost cried. 'Cause it had been a super long time I've last seen her. & we were like close good friends for the last 4 years. Oh my dear, I miss you alot. & still, I'm proud of you. :D Boyboy was standing beside my row the whole time. Heh, I was proud of you as well! & was seriously looking forward to your performance, seeing you and chatting with you. Though you just live a storey below me, but we haven't had much time to talk! So yesterday was kind of the best time to see you again! As for Jiayi, I sooooo wna kill you. The whole time during phototaking, you were posing with your arms around the super hot Jap guy! Ah, I hate you, & promise I'll kill you (literally) the next time I see you. Grrr. Well, on the whole, the Meiden High & Meridian did a great job! The band music was entertaining (Er, as for some music idiot like me who doesn't know how to appreciate music, you can totally trust my words 'cause when I say its entertaining, it really meant it caught my attention. My opinion is definitely a credible source.) Went home together with Jeremy & thanks dude for accompanying me wait for my mum to come with the umbrella. Lol. Had really a great time chatting with you & seriously, you looked much skinnier!

& Oh yeah, something quite unpleasant happened during breaktime today. Thanks ah, now I dont' know how I should continue to do my GP presentation with him in my GP group. Wah damn it la, the whole idea just disgusts me. But whatever, it's PEACE already since I get to hear so many new stories today. Lol! I'm still figuring out who's that idiot on my class that betrayed me and tell the dumb Orjiao.

Longlonglong post. Ciao people!



Tuesday, July 22, 2008 | 5:17 PM
I'd rather remain oblivious to everything happening around me.



Monday, July 21, 2008 | 10:36 PM
The whole unit seems so silent now. All I can hear is just the fan swirling, and the sound made when my fingers touch the keyboard. How much I would love to have such silence to myself. & I need this kind of 'dosage' every night, 'cause it's like, time for me to reflect on what I've did in the day and how I can actually improve myself. Aiyah, in another word, Emo la, -.-

Parents are sleeping & sister's in the room turning and tossing in her bed. The weird thing is, I've just woke up. Lol. I went to bed just now at 7.30pm after an attempt to do my work for 30min. & Mum woke me up at 9pm. Alright, I'm feeling soooooo energized now. Full charged with battery already! :D Time to watch my drama! Yayyy woooooooo!

Okay, the point I need to emphasize is, I sooo need a study group. As you can see from the previous paragraph, I did my work for 30 minutes only & I'm KNOCKED OUT flat. So, in order to get back the time I've wasted on sleeping today, I'm gonna punish myself by staying in the school library till 7pm tomorrow. Er... Uhm... That was just meant to be a casual remark okay?Hahaha! Oh I know, who knows Malina & bird could be down at the CC tomorrow night! :) & I can just hop by and join them!

I shall now get busy with my GP Newsweek worksheet. >.< Mooo, love you for that so meaningful verse.



Thursday, July 17, 2008 | 12:11 AM
Wellwellwell, let's see. I don't know how exactly to start this post again.
.
.
.
.
.
Had a tiny chat with Moo & Syl today before GP tutorial, while bubbling. We were reading the Teenage mag & came across this Dear Kelly section. & Since I had 2 peer counsellors with me, we started analysing the various situations. Read about something like the victim/writer fear BG relationships and hate guys because her father visits prositutes, having a second wife and beating her up (Refer to page 71 of the mag, Article 'Living with Violence'). & then our chat revolves around that topic.
I kind of recalled Mum asking me this, at that depressed moment, "Your grandma asks if you would have a fear for marriage after seeing my marriage ended up like that. & I'm curious to know too. Tell me the truth okay?" If I'm not wrong, I asked her with this so-certain tone. "No, why would I? I'll make sure my marriage would work out fine." & Gave her a assuring look. But, I realise as time goes by, I think I'm losing faith in marriages. I have this in my mind-- Marriage is just nothing more than a status, & the marriage certificate only serves as a useless paper. It can be torn anytime, just like how love between two parties could transform to just mere responsibilities towards each other. And that seems to be the case between Daddy & Mum. & Then, now I find myself blaming the society for this result. Fast-paced society, with money and credit revolving around our lives. They find it hard to compromise each other regarding such matters because they have different mindsets. They quarrel about that, about childrens' education, about living habits, about everything they find it unbearing. Zooming in, I narrowed the scope down to myself. If it weren't for me, they might not end up like that? Perhaps they have one less topic to quarrel about? Mum wouldn't say 'I held on till now because of my two precious daughters.' It seemed like I'm the one to be blamed for her failed marriage.
(Eh, wait, I phrased it in a way it sounds like my parents are divorced but they aren't. )
So, on the lighter note, I still think marriage would end up carrying responsiblities on their shoulders.

Okay, you might think this particular issue is still too early for me to think & ponder about. But hey, let's face it, if I were to get married at the age of 25, it's only like 8 more years. Woah, that's fast, given the fact that I haven't had any real BG relationships in my 10 years of mixed schooling (!!!). 8 years to find the perfect one (Again, it's gonna be hard. Like er, looking for a needle in the wide sea), courtship, understanding him and what more. Who knows in between 8 years, there comes many false alarms, wasting my time. Nonono, it would be a fruitful experience, looking on the brighter side. Lol.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life.

This leads me to my next point. :( Econs test & Math test later. Yeah, I've studied hard & retained most of the facts. So, I will leave it to God. & Guess what, it's rare to see me not panicking! Haha.

Ending off with this,
Psalm 32:8 The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

Good night people! :D



Wednesday, July 16, 2008 | 12:23 AM
The dreadful semester is here. Counting down, 7 more weeks to Promos.
For now, I'm flooded down with the EoM & Written Report, which left at my wits ends. As the group leader, it's ironic leading the group yet don't know how to even continue. There's like no reply from our interviewees and our surveys doesn't reflect good response. This would mean extra work for us --fake some survey results, look for answers regarding the interview on their forums and send out letters again. Damn PW.
Oral Presentation shouldn't be a huge problem if I were to follow some kind of 'script'. I guess I'd be able to add more stuffs in since I'm like er sociable. Okay, talkative. ;p

& I always had this feeling that I'm lagging behind everyone in revision. Like, I spent 3 days studying Econs already, yet I only understand the concepts, least mentioning memorised them. What a loser I am.

To make matters worse, my ankle's giving me problems again. It has been hurting ever since Saturday. :( I skipped 2.4km Napfa test on Monday, and I had to retake it next Monday without my usual pacer. She'd be over at Vietnam, & if she could, run there & pace with me. Lol. Never mind, I still Jan with me. :D See see Syl, I can do without you. Haha.

I believe everything would turn out fine. Because Moo gave me this -- TouchPoints for Women. For the past two days, I've been reading it. & Yeah, it gave me strength & motivation to study for the upcoming Econ & Math test though my eyes are closing. Thanks Moo. One day, I'd find the true strength in me to accept Him. :)

Woah? 12.09AM! Time to sleep! I wouldn't want to doze off during Chem lecture & get so restless 'cause I'd be doing the 5 stations for Napfa tomorrow! Shitz it.



Thursday, July 10, 2008 | 8:49 PM
This post would be full of stuffs here and there. I mean like, there would be no link between each section.

First of all, I was bloghopping.
P's on the first of my list. No updates so I assume she's doing well. Then, Jiayi's. Not too bad, she passed mostly all her subjects except for Econs. Smarty-pants but, fatigue's wearing her down. & Yeah, talking how handsome is China. Hahahaah. Angren's with his normal crap going on about stupid kids and skinny jeans; fairly glad that he receives chills down his spine when his ex talked to him & when his name was announced during Nationals Track and Field Meet. Zhoudao's with his recent gathering with Shaun, BingYuan, Janice lingling, Joyce, Ee Hwan, Ying Shan, and some unknown guy that Janice managed to keep him under wraps. Haha. Out of curiousity, clicked upon Janice's blog but no pictures on that unknown guy which is also known as her Sky. Lol. Shaun's with his nice sentosa trip photos & got to know Cultural Night was a total rip-off. Yingshan's wide smile appeared on her blog & I was smiling instantly too. Ruey yi seems to be enjoying his Tennis trainings & matches. Well done Curl! :D
I am really glad that they are doing well. But again, I'm feeling so pathetic about myself. I pity myself why do I have to get all their updates through blogs only?
& I came to realise this quote: Being friendless actually taught me how to be a friend --- Colleen Wainwright, Communicarix, 11-09-07
.
.
Secondly, I recalled a longlonglong letter Moo wrote for me last week & only gave it to me yesterday. It was really touching. I never knew someone I only knew for less than 6 months could actually understand me so well. Everything she wrote was what I need. & Perhaps God could be my strength.
"I know the plans I have for you." says the Lord.
"They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
- Jeremiah 29:11
.
.
Thirdly, Mid Year results. I scored a E grade for Bio, 33th Position in the whole cohort of 170 students. See how badly we all have done (Except Beatrice, Ruishan, Munirah & Mooo). Chemistry with a D grade, GP S grade, Econs A grade (The only subject I worked hard for & paid off), Math B grade (Woah, thanks to bird :D).
.
.
Next, I met up with an accident on Monday night! Okay wait, let me express myself better. I mean, a motorbike and taxi crashed & I happened to be with bird at that time at the coffeeshop, doing math & watching tv at the same time. Then came a loud boom and ahhhhhhhhh~ Totally left me in shockness. Lol. Was quite reluctant to go help though I have my first aid cert with me. Something else was on my mind back then. Something like, what if my cert expired, & no one will believe me 'cause I totally look like a small kid. Bird then urged me to go and help. (Sounds so dramatic). He was the first one to call the ambulance & I was telling everyone around not to move the victim. I started asking where her injuries are. & Wiped off her tears for her. At that point of time, I dint feel so heroic, infact I was feeling nervous & my hands were cold. Fast forward, the ambulance came & I told the paramedics what's wrong with her. Suspected right elbow and right ankle fractured, with minor scratches. Before we could see the victim go up the ambulance, we went away already. On the way home, I recalled everything that just happened while bird was actually saying he was proud of me >.< Eh, come on, thats his first time saying I'm not dumb okay. & then I suddenly thought of every first aid job I've done. They were all minor scratches like during cross-country and sports day. No big deal. & Now I was faced with an accident! A real car accident! So nerve-wrecking, so exciting, so unbelievable, so omg, I never expected such stuff could actually happen to me. I mean I could help someone who needs help. I feel like wow, I'm one more step nearer to my dream. FYI, my dream is to become part of the medical field & relieves the patients' pain. I ran down from the 6th floor to my unit, opened the door & jumped onto my bed, telling Mummy & Sister about this experience. & then I called Loves, Cherie and Syl to tell them about it. Omgomgomgomg, I wish I could tell the whole world. Lol. Well I guess, I actually did. 'Cause the internet is totally open & everyone can view this post. .
.
NewsFlash! Came across this article in ChannelNewsAsia. The Italian Court allows woman to be removed from life support. Which in another word, it's Euthansia! Read about it! I'm going to do this for my ReadingLog! Read about G8 leaders also. There's at least 4 related articles, so follow up yourself.
Ahuh, then this too.
.
.
Told you this post is damn random & I WASTED 44MINUTES ON TYPING THIS POST. Fineeeeeeeeeee, I'm not going to continue my Maclaurin's Expansion tutorial since I can't do them anyway.



Saturday, July 05, 2008 | 5:25 PM
Every moment
I try to savour your sweet presence
But
Ended up losing myself up up and far away from reality
Tangled up with my own inner struggle

My heart was racing
Becoming breathless
Adrenaline rushes up
Weak in my legs

It had always you,
And only you
Whom can make me feel that way
For my love is only meant for you



Friday, July 04, 2008 | 10:28 PM
Ambiguous. Uncertain. Mixed feelings.



I hate guessing. Guessing what's up in your mind, whether we're just friends or more than just that? We may seem close but I constantly kept a distant away from you because I was always pondering about and giving myself answers for those millions of questions. It was hard, sometimes it seems like a lie and it isn't even convincing enough to even persuade myself.



Till then, I tell myself I shall not guess anymore because I've fallen too deep into that endless hole. Everything will sort out nicely. If we are meant for friends, okay, let it be. But if our relationship is more than just that, then don't blame me for giving you up so early. It's your fault that you didn't clarify. I need the sense of security more than any other girl does. But you left me in an uncertain situation and I don't know how to react or response. I couldn't always be the one playing along with you. I seem totally like a toy in your hands. It's just too much for me to take.



Here I stand at the crossroad, afraid to receive every sweet gestures of yours & even confess. This love is no doubt real, but it must remain deep deep down in my heart. Because, a word of rejection from you is potent, it can kill me. I could reduce to ashes, my soul would slip away and my heart could tear into mini bits.



In this game called Love, I wouldn't move any of my pieces.



Tuesday, July 01, 2008 | 4:53 PM
Promos are on its way. 11 more weeks.











I need to start studying now. 'Cause my SA results suck. Suck balls man. Minus the Econs part.





CHRISTINA

petite.loud.wols.
Legal for alcoholic drinks :)
1st Nov 1991
Scorpio
Tampines JC. 08S02

"Better now than I was before, but I still miss you"


Twitter
Facebook
Ask Me Anything!
Livejournal


Archives

May 2005
June 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
May 2010

Credits

This blogskin is made by Eugin and he obtained his resources from Shizoo only.